What is Matrescence? Understanding the Motherhood Identity Shift

Becoming a mother is often described as the most natural thing in the world. But if you’ve felt like your whole sense of self has been turned inside out since giving birth—know this: you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.

What you're likely experiencing has a name: matrescence.

What is matrescence?

Matrescence is the process of becoming a mother. Much like adolescence, it’s a hormonal, emotional, psychological, and social transformation—but it happens after birth instead of puberty.

The term was first coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael (yes, the same woman who brought “doula” into the mainstream), but it’s only recently been given the attention it deserves—especially by mothers who’ve been silently wondering, "Where did the old me go?"

Matrescence isn’t a moment. It’s a season. A tender, sometimes turbulent unfolding of a new identity

Why It Feels So Hard (Even When You're “Doing Everything Right”)

Unlike adolescence, matrescence often lacks community acknowledgement. We don’t have rituals to mark the shedding of our old selves. There’s no societal space for grief over lost freedom, career shifts, changed bodies, or shaken relationships.

Instead, we’re told to bounce back, be grateful, put the baby first, and keep going.

This silence around identity loss and emotional overwhelm means many mothers internalize it as failure. But nothing could be further from the truth.

What you’re going through is not a breakdown. It’s a breakthrough.

How Coaching Can Support You Through Matrescence

As a motherhood coach, I meet many women at the edge of this identity shift. They come with a swirl of emotions—exhaustion, resentment, confusion, love—and often one big question:

“Is it meant to feel this hard?”

My answer: no, not without support.

Coaching offers:

• A safe, non-judgmental space to name what you’re feeling

• Tools to help you reconnect with your inner self

• Language to make sense of the transformation

• Validation for your grief and your growth

• Gentle ways to reclaim your intuition, values, and vision as a mother and as a woman

You’re Not Alone, and You’re Not Meant to Mother Alone

Matrescence is not a detour. It’s the path.

It’s messy, beautiful, tender, and real. And it deserves to be witnessed.

If you’re craving space to be heard and supported in this season, I invite you to explore motherhood coaching with me. Together, we can gently tend to the woman who is still inside you, evolving alongside the mother.

Ready to Begin?

Book a free discovery call or explore coaching packages here.